1. |
Craft Beer
03:44
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Oh That’ll be the day that you hear me order a vanilla porter
A chocolate oatmeal stout, that ain’t what I’m about
A hefeweizen? My blood pressure is rising
An IPA? No way Jose
I’ll take a PBR, an Old Style, a High Life, a Natural Lite
Milwaukee’s best sounds good to me tonight
Gimme a Hamm’s, a Busch, a Schlitz, an Iron City, or a Stroh’s
Lone Star Beer? I’ll take one of those
Now I ain’t never tried a gose, it just sounds so gross-uh
A sour mash? I bet that tastes like ass
A barley wine? I must be losing my mind
Gluten free? You gotta be shittin me
Take me back to simpler times when drinking was cheap and easy
I used to say I never met a beer I didn’t like. Can’t say that no more
Nowadays it takes longer to choose which beer to drink than it does to drink the damn beer
Hey bartender, I see what you got on tap and it looks like a bunch of crap!
I wouldn’t drink an amber bock if it were the last thing in stock
A farmhouse rye? I’d rather die
And if that beer contains fruit, might as well serve it from my Size 13 black & gold cowboy boot
it’ll prolly taste better that way
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2. |
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While she’s out shopping, I’m out bar hopping
She’s got the credit card and I’m sipping hard
She wants a brand new purse and that makes me curse
She’s at the mall and I’m having a ball
She needs her hair done did and wants to have us a kid
Another pair of shoes has me singing the blues
I saved some money for a boat that she spent on a coat
They’re painting her nails and I’m painting the town,
So gimme another round
An incoming text (lets me know)
there goes my paycheck (Here she goes)
She keeps on spending (my head is)
My head is spinninh
While she’s out shopping, I’m somewhere sobbing
The credit cards are maxed, oh god my back
The price tag on that dress, I’m in distress
She’s at the mall and I’m having a ball
They’re painting her nails, I’m painting the town
She’s at the salon, I’m in the saloon
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3. |
I Believe in You
04:29
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4. |
Where's My Other Boot?
01:24
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My Left boot served as my pillow, but I can’t find the right
As I try to remember what the hell I did last night
In some town ive never heard of north of Santa Fe
but it’s hard to remember details
When ya been drunk for days
I searched and I scoured the entire vicinity
Then my stomach started acting up man, something bad had gotten into me
As I sit, to take a shit
What did I find?
That size 13 black and gold cowboy boot….
Was where the sun don’t shine
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5. |
I Need Whiskey
02:02
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When I come home from work, I can’t get no respect
When all I need is just a little rest
But the dogs they are a barking and they kids they are a screaming
Grass needs mowing but the mower needs a fixing
Curtains need hangin’ and leaves need a raking
Dogs need a walking and the toilet needs a snaking
Another night, another fight, the old lady’s always right
Too much cussin and a fussin, no huggin, turtle doving
I’d rather be out fishing but the fish they never bite
I could use a little tug, chug-a-lug chug-a-lug
I need whiskey
Next morning, head spinning and I’m pissing out my ass
Don’t want to go to work, but I gotta make that scratch
Already running late so I missed breakfast
Halfway to the job, my truck ran out of gas
Right outside the Applebee’s on State Road 70
Where I met the old lady, singing karaoke
But I’m too pissed to reminisce
Cuz I just started walking and I stepped in shit
Gonna call the boss and tell him suck my dick
And ya can’t fire me cuz I already quit
I need whiskey
Whiskey does the body good and it lightens up my mood
When I’m feeling down on my luck, just pour some brown liquor in my cup
I need, no I breathe, yeah I bleed whiskey
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6. |
Redneck Beach
02:53
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The sun is shining and it’s hot outside
so let’s get in our truck and go for a ride to Redneck Beach
Well the girls all look so good, ya know.
The weather’s oh so nice it never snows at Redneck Beach
Don’t forget to bring some sunscreen don’t forget your shotgun
There’s always cold beer to drink and everybody’s having fun at Redneck Beach
You don’t need to wear no shirt or shoes
And whenever you come, there’s plenty of booze at Redneck Beach
And when you look up in the sky
Old Glory will always fly At Redneck Reach
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7. |
Fell Off The Wagon Again
01:45
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It’s always the same old thing, woke up on an outbound train
Poundin’, rattlin’ in my brain
Oh shit I’m late for work again.
I can’t remember what I did
to put me in this shape I’m in
I’m stuck on the wrong side of town
Head is spinnin’ round and round
They changed the locks the rent is late
So what else do I have to say?
I got drunk last night
Where’d my money go?
Well I try to make it through the days
But I just can’t seem to find a way
I guess that I got dealt a bad hand
And me, I Don’t care what them people they be talking
Try booting on these boots and walking
And tell me to my face that I got no shame
Cause I fell off the wagon again
And I just can’t seem to make it to the end
Of an entire day
Without drowning my sorrows away
I fell off the wagon again
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8. |
I'm Really Mad
02:17
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I’m mad ,I’m really mad
Those crooks in Washington D.C. they make me mad
It’s too bad , That I’m so mad
Cause I gotta get through the day and you’re in my way
My wife she left, she took the dog
My kid’s a punk, I think he’s on drugs
I’m mad, I’m really mad
The fake news and lamestream media, they make me mad
I’m going bald And I’m gaining weight
And what little hair that I got left Is turning gray
I’m mad, I’m really mad
I want everything that the guy has
I’m maaaaaad
I’m so fed up and pissed off and furious and hate the world right now
And my favorite team they lost again, they lost again they lost again
(they lost again)
Another day at the job
Another night at the bar
Another burger on the grill
Another pound my wife gained
Another tax increase passed
Another bill came in the mail
Another handful of hair down the drain
I’m about to blow
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9. |
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I had a girl and she had me
And when we were together, we were so carefree
But after a while, things, they became strange
We both knew it that things, things had to change
We had a quarrel, a lover’s spat
And our love was over just like that
You know that 99% if the time
I am stoned out of my mind
I cannot remember some things that were said
Turn up the radio
They’re playing our song
Tears are starting to fall
As I sing along
I can’t stop thinking
I can’t stop drinking
I can’t stop trying
Ican’t stop crying
I can’t stop loving and I can’t stop going
Crazy over you
There was a time when our love was new
Troubles and worries, were seldom and few
Now you’re out somewhere living your life
Me? All I do, all I do I sit and cry
I realize that, it’s time to move on
But tell me baby
Where did we go wrong?
I thought I was over you
Until something caught my eye
I saw you dancing
With another guy
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10. |
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Brandon Cattle with The Branding Irons Illinois
NoT Yr GRAmPa'z KoNTRee
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